RENT

So RENT is my new obsession. I rented the final performance they filmed live on Broadway and fell in love. I think it's because so many of the lyrics speak to me. For example:

Will I lose my dignity?/Will someone care?/Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

When I hear those lyrics I think of my breakdown and wonder how I ever came through it. How did I make it out alive? Some days I don't believe I'm still here.

To people living with, living with, living with, not dying from disease

Even though bipolar is not a terminal illness, and I am certainlly not belittling the struggle of those who are going through a serious illness, when you have to feign off thoughts of death, it's like dealing with one. It takes over the mind and becomes completely consuming.

There's only now/There's only here/Give into love/Or live in fear

I need to start living. Really living. I've kept myself in such a shell it's hard for me to connect with people, and I don't want to be that way the rest of my life. I want to really become engaged in my life, and find someone to spend the rest of my life with.

RENT is coming to DC at the end of May, and I hopefully am going to go see it (hopefully, hopefully). I can't wait.

FORGET REGRET. NO DAY BUT TODAY.